United Season Tickets - The Details

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Season Tickets 2007 / 2008

A very small number of Season Tickets are still available (single seats only) in various areas of the stadium, please call 0870 442 1999 to check availability. Season Ticket prices range from £540 to £792.
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Fergie’s Domestic

The Mirror: Sir Alex Ferguson’s son Darren was arrested for allegedly assaulting his ex-wife outside the Man Utd manager’s mansion.
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Inside The Champions

The Guardian: By 7.30am on most weekday mornings the hood of Sir Alex Ferguson’s car is already stone cold. It’s nothing to do with the invariably inclement Manchester weather, of course, but all to do with the fact that the manager has been perched at his desk for half an hour already. And he’s not alone.
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England, Alcoholics Anonymous, Reverse Engineering And The French!

Tony Bell

Instead of all the national mourning, imagine England had got the draw they needed against Croatia and were today contemplating a place in the Euro 2008 tournament.

It’s not difficult to believe that by now McClaren’s men would be in full cry with messers Terry & Gerrard proclaiming in the columns of the tabloids that England can now go on and win the tournament! No doubt there would be the usual comments about how qualifying was disappointing as well as promises of how we would put that right in Austria.

Endless quotes would fill the back pages on how many world class players we have, how “on paper” we have a great team and that “no team would want to be drawn in the same group as England.”

We have been spared all this by Croatia’s win at Wembley. Maybe now we will wake up and smell the coffee, realise the state the game is in and do that completely un-English thing (In sport anyway) - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Which leads me to Alcoholics Anonymous - not a normal title in a football blog, but allow a little latitude and I will try and get to the point. We have all seen the scenes in the films or on TV when the drunk/gambler/drug addict seeks help. The first step is the introduction to the group and admit the problem. If the problem is denied then the recovery will never take place, or if it does it will be temporary.

This is where England stands at the moment. We have a huge problem. Like the drunk who has not made that first speech we mask it with paper talk from those involved in The Premiership and the England team. Not a week goes by without a pundit or a manager declaring that ………….. (Insert Terry/Gerrard/Lampard/Cole/Rio/Rooney/Owen) are the best in the world - Really? Are we sure? Because if they were surely we wouldn’t need a coach, just send them out on the pitch and let them play.

In the history of International football, England have won one World Cup (on home soil), they have reached 2 semi finals, the last of which was 11 years ago. This is NOT a good record! Some will argue that luck was against us in those semi’s - I argue that luck was with us in the quarter finals against Spain in 1996 (Spain having a perfectly legal goal ruled offside) and in 1990 when 2 pens saved us from defeat by Cameroon!

Since then we have had failure in quarter finals and last 16’s - When it counts, against the best opposition England have failed, and to my mind only Ashley Cole (his handling of Cristiano Ronaldo has been the best of any left back) and Rio Ferdinand (England’s best defender in 2 world cups) can consider themselves international class - not world class but the step down from that. The others - don’t make me laugh. Gerrard has 50 caps, can anyone remember a dominant game against decent opposition - Andorra & Trinidad do not count as decent by the way! - The same goes for all the others mentioned.

Its AA time - its time to stand up and say “We are England and we are not good enough!” That’s right. England’s players are not good enough. Their basic technique falls down under pressure. We surrender valuable possession far to easily. We lack guile, creativity and brains. We have become a long ball team.

Its not all bad. We can run, tackle and head the ball. We also “go till the final whistle” - but alas, as long as these are our strengths we will keep on looking to excuses like the ref or the manager to mask the fact WE ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Reverse Engineering is the process whereby clever people take a finished product, dismantle it, see how it works, then build their own, often improved version in order to compete. Basically it’s about nicking good ideas and improving them! What has this got to do with football? Well - If the goal (pardon the pun) of the FA is to produce an England team that wins a World Cup or European Championship, then perhaps it might be an idea to take a look at the teams that have won it recently, see how they produce players, see their tactics, their formations, their preparation, their league system and, well, copy it?

Looking down the list of country’s who have been successful and have regularly reached the last 4 of these competitions and anyone with half an ounce of football knowledge can reel off the names of Brazil, Germany, Argentina, Italy, France and Holland. It’s also safe to say that none of these countries employ a long ball to a big man so please take note future England manager, whoever it may be. The styles of these countries are actually quite different. Brazil are all attacking flair, Germany efficient all over the park, Holland may overplay some time (and self destruct) and Italy are more likely to defend than attack. There is one thing that they all have in common though - players who are comfortable on the ball, whose first touch is second nature, who pass the ball and move into space, players who keep possession.

In international football possession is crucial for quite a few reasons. The obvious one is that only the team in possession of the ball can score a goal. Pretty obvious? Not to an England team full of so called “world class” players who seem to think that we have to score within 4 passes of gaining possession. And they wonder why, in 85 degrees of heat, after 80 minutes of chasing the ball and busting a gut to get up to support Crouchie or Little Mickey Owen that we become fatigued and concede goals. Short sharp passes, movement off the ball, little angles all based around players with sound technique and the ability to pass the ball 10 yds and work the team as a unit up the field. Something you hardly ever see England do, but quite commonplace in successful international teams.

An international team playing England need only put our back four under pressure for a limited period and they know a long ball will not be far away. Whilst it may bring success against the lesser defences, teams such as Italy, Spain, Argentina and Germany have the world class centre backs who can deal with this tactic easily, especially if that long ball is to a 5ft 8in Michael Owen. They then have the ball back and England are back under pressure.

We need players with technique and players who can pass the ball, who look comfortable with the ball at their feet. These may be different skills to those needed in the fast and furious Premiership, where dynamism and athletic ability have more sway. Gareth Barry is a classic example. Often considered too slow but eventually, when given a chance he has been among England’s better players.

In order to produce these players we have to look at the grass roots of the game. Teach the youngsters to take pride in skills and not in a big boot up front. How many people reading this remember their school days when the big guys played centre back and kicked it as far as they could and the quickest guy in the school played up front or on the wing. They chased the ball and had a shot.

Its still happening now. I watched in utter dismay a couple of months ago when a “coach” of an under 11’s team castigated his centre half. “You are one of our biggest players and you are passing the ball 10 yds. Get the ball up field.”

My heart hopes this is an isolated incident. My head says it probably happens every week in most parks in the country. How will we ever produce players comfortable on the ball, with a good touch, if this is what we teach our 11 year olds?

On to my last point - The French! Why the French? The last time England failed to qualify for a major final was in 1994. It just so happened that the French suffered the same fate. Unfortunately that’s where the similarity ends. The French put their faith in their national academies. Clairfontaine is the most famous of these but there are actually 8 of them spread across the country. Clairefontaine was the first of their academies. The idea came about in 1976 (another time when England were in the international doldrums) and is now seen as the best football academy in the world. These are the areas that the academy’s focus on

• Making the player’s movements faster and better

• Linking movements efficiently and wisely

• Using the weaker foot

• Weaknesses in the player’s game

• Psychological factors (sports personality tests)

• Medical factors

• Physical tests

• Technical skills

• Skill Training (juggling the ball, running with the ball, dribbling, kicking, passing and ball control)

• Tactical (to help the ball carrier, to get the ball back, to offer support, to pass the ball and follow the pass, positioning and the movement into space across the country).

Do these sound like areas English players need help with? Whilst the French reap the reward with a World Cup win, a further final appearance and a European Championship win, England have just one semi final to show for their efforts. While the French play attractive attacking football and have produced some of the great players in the last 20 years, England still have not produced 1 left footed attacking player! It is easy to hold up the likes of Henry & Anelka as famous superstar graduates but it’s the likes of Thuram, Gallas, Makele, Petit and Vieira that interest me more. They may not have all come through the academies but they all display the attributes taught by them. Is it any accident that whilst the French are enjoying international success, England are way way behind.

What are the FA doing to replicate the French system? Well 30 years after the French had their epiphany England gave the go ahead for a similar project based in Burton. In typical English/FA fashion we have the site, the pitches are laid, but the project is on-hold due to money problems. The total cost of £50m seems too much for the suits at the FA who seemed quite happy for the cost of Wembley to spiral from £600m to over a billion - a bit like building The Louvre but cutting all arts courses at schools and universities.

Looks like English crickets decision to ignore a national academy whilst the Aussies went right ahead has been pretty much mirrored by their counterparts in charge of football - great decisions guys!

England need to wake up and wise up fast. We have produced talent in the past, natural footballers. The argument that English payers are not naturally talented does not hold true. Hoddle, Gascoigne, Scholes, Le Tissier, Barnes, Beardsley, Waddle to name a few from the past 20 years, the 2 Cole’s, Rooney and Ferdinand of the current squad all have the ability but we need more, many more. We need players for whom touch and technique are equal to that of the world best, whose weak foot is not actually that weak, who can pass and move, who can beat a man with pace or a trick, open a defence with guile and nous. We need midfielders who can set the tempo of a game and keep it ticking over and defenders who have something else to offer other than a big boot up front.

The game needs an overhaul from the very youngest age. If that means changing the rules at that age then so be it. A head height rule? A pitch split into thirds like netball with the ball having to travel through all sectors to go forward? 2 touch competitions? Whatever it takes to rid our country of the Charlie Hughes POMO (Position of Maximum Opportunity) mantra that has plagued English football for years.

Give Arsene Wenger £10 million a year wages, carte blanche and as much money as he needs to put a 10 year plan in place for 6-16 year olds. Then have the guts to back him and stick with it. It works! At club level Ajax, Arsenal and Barcelona are great examples. Whilst the French system is probably the best from a country.

Stand up England and admit the problem. More importantly do something about it. Invest in the future. Look at what the other countries are doing and copy it. Once the technique is there then the qualities we display naturally will turn England into world beaters. The determination, the grit, the will to win - these are qualities that most other countries struggle to match. Put this with skills and England will actually justify their perennial tag of favourites. Add those together and we will be world beaters.

But we must act quickly. Otherwise we will fall further behind.

A Summer’s Rest For United Stars

United stars such as Wayne Rooney, Rio Ferdinand and Owen Hargreaves will get a summer’s rest following England’s failure to qualify for the Euro 2008 tournament.
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Does Fergie Need Another Winter Larsson?

Does Sir Alex need another Henrik Larsson to fire United to glory in 2008?
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MUST letter to Minister for Sport (Gerry Sutcliffe - A Salford Red and MP for Bradford)

Dear Minister

Your recent comments regarding ticket prices at Manchester United struck a chord with many of our 32,000 members and many supporters at other clubs too judging by feedback we’ve received. We wanted to put on record our support for your comments and issued a statement (attached) to that effect which was picked up by PA/Sporting Life and also circulated to our members.

We believe that the time has come for the Government to intervene over ticket prices because club owners (and the FA, PL, IFC etc) have been given ample time to put their own house in order and bring prices under control and yet price increases have actually accelerated to unprecedented levels. This has created hardship for many long term supporters (as well as potential new fans) who’ve given loyalty to their club for so many years only to be rewarded with an ultimatum to pay up or be replaced by someone else who can.

This presents a similar challenge for many of the local supporters who are being priced out and end up watching their club in the pubs around Manchester and Salford. I wonder what percentage of season ticket holders live in Salford now compared to 20 years ago?

Your comments suggest you are well aware of this situation. We understand that the Government sees intervention as the last resort but we believe that the case for such intervention is now overwhelming.

1. Clubs occupy a monopoly or dominant market position

Each football club is a discrete monopoly having complete control over the supply and pricing of tickets for their games. You can’t buy the product – e.g. Manchester United tickets - from anyone else and there are no effective substitute products available elsewhere. As a United supporter you will know that tickets for Manchester City would not be an acceptable substitute. The clubs know this too and they are exploiting it to their commercial advantage and to the detriment of the consumer.

2. Clubs are abusing a dominant market position

The level of price rises, with increases way above inflation over the last 15 years and around 50% in the last 3 years alone at United, is compelling evidence that this is not a healthy competitive market. Could a business operating in a competitive market get away with these kinds of increases? I’m sure you’d agree that the answer is no and the reason is that it is not a competitive market. Further evidence of abuse of a dominant market position is demonstrated by the imposition of unfair terms.

This can be clearly seen at Manchester United where the terms and conditions of both the Compulsory Automatic Cup Scheme and indeed the Season Ticket itself are riddled with terms which are blacklisted under the Unfair Contract Terms Regulations relating to contracts which are not individually negotiated. Like any other market where a business has a monopoly or dominant position the solution to protect the consumer is to apply regulation. We believe that consumers (supporters) are clearly being exploited and that the only solution is regulation of both prices and the terms and conditions.

With your previous experience at the DTI as Minister for Competition and Consumer Affairs you must surely be uniquely well placed to argue the case for such regulation and strike a historic blow for the ordinary football supporter. I know that it would receive a huge groundswell of support from football fans and supporters’ groups as well as the media, so I feel sure any move to address this would receive strong backing in the media.

In closing I would like to say how encouraged we are that we now have a Minister who clearly has his finger on the pulse of supporter issues. We would welcome the opportunity to meet you to allow us to put forward some constructive solutions to some of these issues that you have identified if you can find time in your busy diary?

Duncan Drasdo
MUST chief executive

United, Arsenal, Race And Football

Henry Kiribige’s article about the foreign invasion of players in the Premiership, in which he referred to Arsenal as ‘Nigeria,’ excited the sensitivities of some fans.

Amid allegations of racism, demands were made to the editor to withdraw the post.

Read the article, the comments of other readers, the viewpoints of AU correspondent James and the editor and then you decide…

James

First things first. I like this website. I’ve read it since last year and as United sites go, it’s not bad at all.

But I was annoyed with the site when I read the article written by columnist Henry Kibirige. It was about the influx of foreign players into the Premier League but the part that got my blood boiling was when he referred to the Arsenal team.

“So you look at our friends Arsenal and conclude that they might as well wear green kits and be called Nigeria. The number of black players in that team is staggering, especially as it’s an English club.”

This is the 21’st century. It is the year 2007. Why should a writer from this site be ’staggered’ by the number of black players at Arsenal? Is it racism? Is it sheer stupidity? Or is it just a failure to accept that racial origin might not be uppermost in Arsene Wenger’s mind when he selects his best team.

Football has come a long way from the days when the BNP openly recruited on the terraces and chairmen and managers ‘informally’ agreed a ‘no more than 3′ rule for black players in the first team. Arsenal’s success this season will only accelerate that progress.

If only some fans and writers moved as fast.

Yours disappointed

James

EDITOR’S REPLY

Hello James

Thanks for your message and your interest in AbsolutelyUNITED.

I think Henry Kibirige’s point mainly reflected the changing face of football. I read the ‘racial’ comment to which you refer as more a reflection of the multi-national nature of the Arsenal first 11 and Wenger’s success in recruiting players from Africa.

You make some important points about football and race. Every time I see John Barnes dancing the Salsa on Saturday Night television, I am reminded of his early days at Liverpool and the shower of bananas and abuse that greeted him when he took his first corner at Everton.

Thankfully, football has changed, as we have documented in these pages. Such shameful scenes are no longer tolerated and the informal rule you speak of has been largely jettisoned too. Wenger can select teams featuring seven or more top black players but Sir Alex could also field a United side containing Brown, Ferdinand, Simpson, Evra, Anderson, Nani, Giggs and Saha - all of whom have black ancestors.

This website has a track record of accepting articles from United fans with something to say. We try not to censor opinions. I cannot speak for Henry’s motivation but accept his bona fides.

However, I understand that the number of black players at Arsenal is a matter of pride for Britain’s black community, as are the strides anti-racism campaigners have made to eliminate the problem from the Premiership since Eric Cantona’s kung fu fighting at Crystal Palace.

Yet this subject is rarely discussed in the mainstream media precisely because of the reaction Henry’s article has provoked. Race and sport is a potent cocktail in today’s pigmentocracy. In the United States and France, teams with a majority of black athletes are fast becoming the norm. Is Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal a sign of the future here in Blighty? If so, will it pass without comment?

I trust that the majority of fans will not have been offended by Henry’s work. Let me be quite clear, Absolutely UNITED offers no welcome to racists, nor will it accept the existence of sacred cows or taboos.

HENRY KIRIBIGE

I didn’t mean it to be racist in any way, shape or form. I wrote this article to try and highlight the massive changes that are going on in football concerning the number of foreign players in the Premiership.

My whole attitude on the situation is that I am in-between. I am on neither side of the argument. The line about ‘Nigeria’, was an attempt at humour. But I don’t see that as racism.

Is Wenger Not Fergie Right In The ‘Johnny Foreigner’ Row ?

Henry Kibirige

This week Fergie celebrated his 21st year as a United manager. Arguably the best manager United have ever had, the Scotsman has built three world beating squads, and is currently working on his fourth.
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United On The Front Foot

Henry Kibirige

I think that after recent performances, it’s fair to say that United are back and rapidly edging towards their best.
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United> England

Henry Kibirige

The majority of United fans would agree with me when I say the International breaks or the England team overall is an absolute waste of time and money. It completely slows down the rhythm of the Premiership and it’s a weekend and midweek of absolute boredom. It’s absolutely pointless and the worst nightmare is if important players like Rooney and Ferdinand get injured, thus meaning a possible break-up in United’s form.
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Tevez, Rooney And Denzel Washington

In the rogue cop film classic ‘Training Day’ Oscar winner Denzel Washington gives his take on the relative importance of perception and reality.
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Are Premiership Fans Just Too Partisan?

ISpy

I’m confused.

No sniggering at the back there! Really, recent events have left me dazed and confused.

Louis Saha scored against Sunderland and Chelsea and was immediately rebranded as United’s most effective striker and the man Sir Alex couldn’t do without if he really wanted to end the season with silverware.

Then, amid the stretching and the rubbing oil of the prelude to the match against Wigan, Saha was injured during the warm-up and is back in rehab. From French perfume to stinking worse than last month’s fish in a matter of weeks!

Travelling the same road but in the opposite direction is the Brazilian Anderson. When United lost against Coventry, observers were quick to point the finger at the famed swordsman. The Guardian gave him two blasts with a loaded shotgun.

“Anderson, Manchester United’s £17m summer recruit, may come with a big reputation and an even bigger price tag, but the Brazilian is facing a prolonged spell in the reserves after an unflattering start to life with his new club,” the newspaper claimed.

“Sir Alex Ferguson had angry words with the entire team after Wednesday’s Carling Cup defeat at home to Coventry City, but he was particularly aggrieved about Anderson’s ineffectual display and is concerned at how the new arrival is struggling to make a favourable impression.”

This was followed by allegedly pious warnings from United liggers that the youngster should stay in a lot more as his socialising was damaging his United career. There was even one tale that claimed Anderson was so poor he would be loaned back to Porto.

The Brazilian may well have used the corruscating criticism and snipes at his lifestyle as a replacement for a motivational tape because he played the best 45 minutes of his United career against Wigan earlier this month and earned glowing reviews.

Wayne Rooney will know all about the twist and turns of fate. Last Friday he was a fading England star who had’t scored for two years. Even his manager was growing less impressed, describing England’s most feared striker as only “potentially” world class.

Was Rooney the new Michael Ricketts? The nation settled in front of its television to ponder that very question and watched as Rooney broke his Three Lions duck against Estonia. Dullard Alan Shearer predicted that Wazza would go on a run and must have felt like the sage of the Toon when Rooney thumped in a marvellous opener during England’s ill-fated match against Russia.

The point of these case studies is to prove that the moronocracy has taken over football. Phone-ins, newspaper instant polls and gibberish masquerading as opinion in the blogosphere has lent authority to those who peddle instant and reversible opinions and immediate judgements based on what someone told them in the pub the night before.

Is this the Sky-Sententa dividedend of wall-to-wall television coverage of the sport or are fickle fans as old as the game itself? Was football always the plaything of the partisan nutter, defending his team and its players in the face of irrefutable evidence that both are inadequate?

Absolutists will know that I’ve been involved in a spat of late with Eros from Arsenal Analysis over our respective ratings of the players representing United and Arsenal. I think Eros is a good lad with intelligent opinions some of which I think are wrong but sincerely held.

Eros and I have been going at it like two cartoon characters in our bid to convert one another. When I widenend the discussion to include other fans, surprise, surprise - no opposing fan was willing to accept without reservation that United players are by and large better than their heroes.

Liverpool loyalists plead the case of Agger and Carragher over Rio and Vidic. City diehards think United got the wrong Brazilian and delight in running the Elano showreel of goals and tricks again and again.

I could go on but should I really stop once you are informed of the quality of Ged’s tale. He thinks Middlesbrough’s Stewart Downing is a better proposition than Nani or Giggs. Ged, are you allowed out unaccompanied?

Yes, in the Premiership, absurdity reigns.

By contrast, at international level, there is little debate over which players form the nucleus of the England team. Rocky Robinson stays in goal, because no-one has really forgiven Calamity James. The Nev should come in at right back if he can prove his fitness. Otherwise Micah stays. Rio and Terry pick themselves in the centre because Carragher has grown tired of wasting his time travelling without any hope of a game. Cashley at left back is automatic.

Gerrard in midfield, with Hargreaves or Barry looks a better combination than the Scouser and Frank. The right flank position is up for grabs. Joe Cole is a decent option on the left whilst up front, it’s Rooney and Owen full stop.

Not hard or controversial is it. This team can be tweaked here and there but by and large it’s the team most fans would pick.

So why is impossible to do the same at club level? Is it becasue the choice is greater?

Does the answer really lie in the fact that national teams matter less?

When it comes to the domestic league, team colours cloud judgement. Just to prove that I can try to be objective, here’s my top Premiership 11 based on form shown over the past year..with only the hint of personal bias.

(Gk) Cech

(Defence) Cole; Carragher; Ferdinand, Richards

(Midfield) Giggs; Gerrard; Scholes; Ronaldo
(Attack) Berbatov; Rooney

Subs: EVDS (Gk) Obi Mikel; Fabregas (Midfield) Drogba (Attack) Terry (Defence)

Fergie’s Managerial Graduates

In less than a month, new hymns will be sung in honour of Sir Alex’s 21 years in charge at Old Trafford.
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Shhhh! United Are Playing

Henry  Kibirige

It’s being talked about amongst many football fans, especially the older ones. It’s apparently getting so bad that it stops some fans from even bothering to go to games. Is the atmosphere at football really getting quieter and less exciting?
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Open Letter To Arsenal Fans

Dear Arsenal Analysis and other Gooners

I’m really glad that AbsolutelyUNITED’S idea to compare the Arsenal and United teams has had such an impact. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery so thanks alot for your article.

I like your site and think your article was a good read. You’ve really tried to be fair but have you been smoking crack? I read your words and am now very worried for your state of mental health.

Arsenal fans carry on as though it was their team that won the league last season. Points mean prizes and what were yours last season? Oh, that’s right, out of Europe early! Out of the FA Cup before it got interesting! Nowhere in the league and second in the League cup!

But Gooners won’t let truth get in the way of ‘please me’ fantasies about the greatness of the Arsenal squad. How can it be that Arsenal performed so badly last season when clearly your site and a host of others rate the current Arsenal 11 as better than Brazil? Was it a referee’s conspiracy? Was it rude boy opposition teams daring to score more goals than precious Arsenal? Or was it simply that the Gunners just weren’t good enough.

Most objective observers would say it is obvious that Arsenal players and the Arsenal team were inferior last term. Who but the criminally insane would expect one-eyed Gooners to see it that way?

But that was last year. This term, Arsenal have stormed to the top of the league. We at AU have watched the Gunners progress with some concern. Read our reports. We rated the Gunners pre-season performance against Lazio and admired the way the Wenger boys came back against Fulham. The despatch of City was a well-earned victory whilst the disarming of Derby and West Ham were ominous signs of an emerging team.

But lets face facts Gooners. You have done well against nobodies and middling teams. When you are as ruthless against the big boys, we’ll take more notice.

We didn’t know how close the teams would be when we compared the sides last month but with Arsenal first and United second, the theme has certainly caught on judging by the response we’ve had and seen elsewhere.

There have been many variations of the combined team sheet, most of them laughable but Arsenal Analysis at least attempted some argument so we’ll return the favour. Of course, we stand by our objective study of last month but we’ll follow the lines of thought offered on the Arsenal Analysis site.

Goalkeeper

Respect. You could have started with a piece of lunacy and slotted in an Arsenal keeper but you took off the Gunner blinkers to recognise that EVDS is head and shoulders above anything currently found in north London.

Winner: EVDS

Right back

Again, AU appreciates your realism. Gary Neville is far and away the best right back at either club and probably in Britain. But as you say, he’s not in the team. You big up Sagna but after a handful of games, even you might want to reserve judgement. Remember your fox in the box who is now playing in the Championship, as we remember Champions League hero Liam Miller.

Eboué is a good player but no longer picked in the rightback position, which leaves Wes Brown out on his own. A proven player of pedigree who is getting better in the role.

Winner: Brown

Centre Half

“Ask any Arsenal fan if they would change Kolo for any centre back in the world and I guarantee that very few would,” is your opening gambit, proving that those Arsenal fans should be sectioned. Toure is a lovely player but better that Rio. Not a chance. He’s a midfielder doing a turn at centre half and a short one at that. Toure’s got class, is mobile, reads the game well and has good positional sense but er, how many times did Arsenal lose last season? Isn’t that the measure of a defence and its defenders? Gooners might love the African emperor but no-one else seems to.

Winner: Rio

Centre Half

Again, the writer has chosen to be objective and recognises that Vidic is the type of centre half that every team needs. We at AU like Gallas but if you say the partnership with Toure doesn’t work, who are we to argue.

Winner: Vidic

Left Back

Here’s the most beautiful of contests. Both Evra and Clichy are French. Both are fast. Both offer excellent attacking support but only one gets in the French national team. And he comes from Senegal. Your writer might not like Raymond Domenech but until the wordsmith has guided a team to the World Cup final, we’ll continue to trust Monsieur Domenech’s judgement, if ya don’t mind.

Winner: Evra

Left Midfield

The Arsenal writer is spot on about Giggs and Nani but then opts for Rosicky as the best option. As this position is still open to question at United, will cede the argument in Arsenal’s favour, even though the jury is still out on the Czech star who as the Gooner says is not even sure of a place in the Arsenal first team.

Winner: Rosicky

Centre Midfield

The writer is persuasive about the claims of Gilberto but clearly should be addressing the comments to one Arsene Wenger, who currently prefers the workhorse Flamini. With Carrick hardly setting the world alight and Hargreaves yet to get a run in the team, we’ll concede the midfield debate in favour of the Brazilian.

Winner: Gilberto

Centre midfield

Cesc or the Ginger genius? It’s close because the former is acclaimed as a copy of the latter. We can’t look past the Scholes master though because he can put medals and caps on the table.

Winner: Scholes

Right Midfield

C-Ron. No debate needed. As the writer said with breath-taking fairness: “I hate to say it but I would pay good money to go and watch Ronaldo play, the best right midfielder in the world.” Nice one.

Winner: Ronaldo

Forward

Rooney or Van Persie. Both are fabulous players but RVP has yet to have the impact of Wazza. He hasn’t scored the goals Wazza has scored and he doesn’t have the range that Wazza possesses.

The Arsenal writer trots out the old meejah favourite about Rooney’s failure to improve. “He is still a great talent but he has not developed as we all thought he would.”

This canard has to be nailed once and for all. Rooney displayed genius at 17 years of age. He was terrifying Europe when still a teenager. He’s just 21 now and is becoming a better player all the time under Sir Alex’s tutelage. On what basis has he declined? He scores fewer goals for England perhaps and he’s less prolific at European level? True enough but England shrivels even the brightest talents. I’m sorry to say that thus far, Rooney has not been helped by United’s European tactics either.

It’s easy to criticise Rooney but tell me, who is better in Europe in his position? RVP? Dont make me laugh. If both players were sold, one Rooney would buy you two Robins.

Winner: Rooney

Foward

Adebayor against Saha. Adebayor has it all to do but looks clever enough to get there in the end. Hard to pin down and surprising able for a such a big man, Adebayor is redefining the role of tall attacking lynchpin in a manner that defies Peter Crouch. Saha would be a marvellous player if he could stay fit. as he can’t, Adebayor shades it.

Winner: Adebayor.

So, to conclude, the combined team would feature three Gunners and eight United stars. Who could seriously argue otherwise.

Yours

ISpy