Tevez, Rooney And Denzel Washington
In the rogue cop film classic ‘Training Day’ Oscar winner Denzel Washington gives his take on the relative importance of perception and reality.
→ continue reading
Are Premiership Fans Just Too Partisan?
ISpy
I’m confused.
No sniggering at the back there! Really, recent events have left me dazed and confused.
Louis Saha scored against Sunderland and Chelsea and was immediately rebranded as United’s most effective striker and the man Sir Alex couldn’t do without if he really wanted to end the season with silverware.
Then, amid the stretching and the rubbing oil of the prelude to the match against Wigan, Saha was injured during the warm-up and is back in rehab. From French perfume to stinking worse than last month’s fish in a matter of weeks!
Travelling the same road but in the opposite direction is the Brazilian Anderson. When United lost against Coventry, observers were quick to point the finger at the famed swordsman. The Guardian gave him two blasts with a loaded shotgun.
“Anderson, Manchester United’s £17m summer recruit, may come with a big reputation and an even bigger price tag, but the Brazilian is facing a prolonged spell in the reserves after an unflattering start to life with his new club,” the newspaper claimed.
“Sir Alex Ferguson had angry words with the entire team after Wednesday’s Carling Cup defeat at home to Coventry City, but he was particularly aggrieved about Anderson’s ineffectual display and is concerned at how the new arrival is struggling to make a favourable impression.”
This was followed by allegedly pious warnings from United liggers that the youngster should stay in a lot more as his socialising was damaging his United career. There was even one tale that claimed Anderson was so poor he would be loaned back to Porto.
The Brazilian may well have used the corruscating criticism and snipes at his lifestyle as a replacement for a motivational tape because he played the best 45 minutes of his United career against Wigan earlier this month and earned glowing reviews.
Wayne Rooney will know all about the twist and turns of fate. Last Friday he was a fading England star who had’t scored for two years. Even his manager was growing less impressed, describing England’s most feared striker as only “potentially” world class.
Was Rooney the new Michael Ricketts? The nation settled in front of its television to ponder that very question and watched as Rooney broke his Three Lions duck against Estonia. Dullard Alan Shearer predicted that Wazza would go on a run and must have felt like the sage of the Toon when Rooney thumped in a marvellous opener during England’s ill-fated match against Russia.
The point of these case studies is to prove that the moronocracy has taken over football. Phone-ins, newspaper instant polls and gibberish masquerading as opinion in the blogosphere has lent authority to those who peddle instant and reversible opinions and immediate judgements based on what someone told them in the pub the night before.
Is this the Sky-Sententa dividedend of wall-to-wall television coverage of the sport or are fickle fans as old as the game itself? Was football always the plaything of the partisan nutter, defending his team and its players in the face of irrefutable evidence that both are inadequate?
Absolutists will know that I’ve been involved in a spat of late with Eros from Arsenal Analysis over our respective ratings of the players representing United and Arsenal. I think Eros is a good lad with intelligent opinions some of which I think are wrong but sincerely held.
Eros and I have been going at it like two cartoon characters in our bid to convert one another. When I widenend the discussion to include other fans, surprise, surprise - no opposing fan was willing to accept without reservation that United players are by and large better than their heroes.
Liverpool loyalists plead the case of Agger and Carragher over Rio and Vidic. City diehards think United got the wrong Brazilian and delight in running the Elano showreel of goals and tricks again and again.
I could go on but should I really stop once you are informed of the quality of Ged’s tale. He thinks Middlesbrough’s Stewart Downing is a better proposition than Nani or Giggs. Ged, are you allowed out unaccompanied?
Yes, in the Premiership, absurdity reigns.
By contrast, at international level, there is little debate over which players form the nucleus of the England team. Rocky Robinson stays in goal, because no-one has really forgiven Calamity James. The Nev should come in at right back if he can prove his fitness. Otherwise Micah stays. Rio and Terry pick themselves in the centre because Carragher has grown tired of wasting his time travelling without any hope of a game. Cashley at left back is automatic.
Gerrard in midfield, with Hargreaves or Barry looks a better combination than the Scouser and Frank. The right flank position is up for grabs. Joe Cole is a decent option on the left whilst up front, it’s Rooney and Owen full stop.
Not hard or controversial is it. This team can be tweaked here and there but by and large it’s the team most fans would pick.
So why is impossible to do the same at club level? Is it becasue the choice is greater?
Does the answer really lie in the fact that national teams matter less?
When it comes to the domestic league, team colours cloud judgement. Just to prove that I can try to be objective, here’s my top Premiership 11 based on form shown over the past year..with only the hint of personal bias.
(Gk) Cech
(Defence) Cole; Carragher; Ferdinand, Richards
(Midfield) Giggs; Gerrard; Scholes; Ronaldo
(Attack) Berbatov; Rooney
Subs: EVDS (Gk) Obi Mikel; Fabregas (Midfield) Drogba (Attack) Terry (Defence)
Giggs Earns New Deal
Red Dread
It appears that Ryan Giggs will be running down the wing for a while longer yet.
→ continue reading
Crazy Gooners Up The Ante
Absolutists,
Some crazy Gooners just cannot bring themselves to accept the irresistible logic of last year’s league table, nor the definitive argument presented by the Premiership trophy being in the Old Trafford cabinet room for another season. They still insist their players are the equal if not better than United’s.
→ continue reading
The Full Monty For United’s Young Stars. Are They Worth It?
Does teenager Medi Abalimba read the newspapers?
→ continue reading
Fergie’s Managerial Graduates
In less than a month, new hymns will be sung in honour of Sir Alex’s 21 years in charge at Old Trafford.
→ continue reading
Anderson: “Ronaldinho with commitment”
Redville
Our first big win of the season confirmed that United are on the right track.
→ continue reading
United Versus Arsenal: The Battle Intensifies
AbsolutelyUNITED ignited a firestorm last month when publishing a comparison of the United and Arsenal first teams. Most of the Gooner replies questioned the editor’s sanity and parentage. Arsenal Analysis gave its verdict which we answered in forthright terms.
Did the Gooners not like that! Back came another Arsenal Analysis opinion piece, so AU, not to back down in the face of a stern challenge publishes today the last word on the great United versus Arsenal debate. Read on….
→ continue reading
Open Letter To Arsenal Fans
Dear Arsenal Analysis and other Gooners
I’m really glad that AbsolutelyUNITED’S idea to compare the Arsenal and United teams has had such an impact. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery so thanks alot for your article.
I like your site and think your article was a good read. You’ve really tried to be fair but have you been smoking crack? I read your words and am now very worried for your state of mental health.
Arsenal fans carry on as though it was their team that won the league last season. Points mean prizes and what were yours last season? Oh, that’s right, out of Europe early! Out of the FA Cup before it got interesting! Nowhere in the league and second in the League cup!
But Gooners won’t let truth get in the way of ‘please me’ fantasies about the greatness of the Arsenal squad. How can it be that Arsenal performed so badly last season when clearly your site and a host of others rate the current Arsenal 11 as better than Brazil? Was it a referee’s conspiracy? Was it rude boy opposition teams daring to score more goals than precious Arsenal? Or was it simply that the Gunners just weren’t good enough.
Most objective observers would say it is obvious that Arsenal players and the Arsenal team were inferior last term. Who but the criminally insane would expect one-eyed Gooners to see it that way?
But that was last year. This term, Arsenal have stormed to the top of the league. We at AU have watched the Gunners progress with some concern. Read our reports. We rated the Gunners pre-season performance against Lazio and admired the way the Wenger boys came back against Fulham. The despatch of City was a well-earned victory whilst the disarming of Derby and West Ham were ominous signs of an emerging team.
But lets face facts Gooners. You have done well against nobodies and middling teams. When you are as ruthless against the big boys, we’ll take more notice.
We didn’t know how close the teams would be when we compared the sides last month but with Arsenal first and United second, the theme has certainly caught on judging by the response we’ve had and seen elsewhere.
There have been many variations of the combined team sheet, most of them laughable but Arsenal Analysis at least attempted some argument so we’ll return the favour. Of course, we stand by our objective study of last month but we’ll follow the lines of thought offered on the Arsenal Analysis site.
Goalkeeper
Respect. You could have started with a piece of lunacy and slotted in an Arsenal keeper but you took off the Gunner blinkers to recognise that EVDS is head and shoulders above anything currently found in north London.
Winner: EVDS
Right back
Again, AU appreciates your realism. Gary Neville is far and away the best right back at either club and probably in Britain. But as you say, he’s not in the team. You big up Sagna but after a handful of games, even you might want to reserve judgement. Remember your fox in the box who is now playing in the Championship, as we remember Champions League hero Liam Miller.
Eboué is a good player but no longer picked in the rightback position, which leaves Wes Brown out on his own. A proven player of pedigree who is getting better in the role.
Winner: Brown
Centre Half
“Ask any Arsenal fan if they would change Kolo for any centre back in the world and I guarantee that very few would,” is your opening gambit, proving that those Arsenal fans should be sectioned. Toure is a lovely player but better that Rio. Not a chance. He’s a midfielder doing a turn at centre half and a short one at that. Toure’s got class, is mobile, reads the game well and has good positional sense but er, how many times did Arsenal lose last season? Isn’t that the measure of a defence and its defenders? Gooners might love the African emperor but no-one else seems to.
Winner: Rio
Centre Half
Again, the writer has chosen to be objective and recognises that Vidic is the type of centre half that every team needs. We at AU like Gallas but if you say the partnership with Toure doesn’t work, who are we to argue.
Winner: Vidic
Left Back
Here’s the most beautiful of contests. Both Evra and Clichy are French. Both are fast. Both offer excellent attacking support but only one gets in the French national team. And he comes from Senegal. Your writer might not like Raymond Domenech but until the wordsmith has guided a team to the World Cup final, we’ll continue to trust Monsieur Domenech’s judgement, if ya don’t mind.
Winner: Evra
Left Midfield
The Arsenal writer is spot on about Giggs and Nani but then opts for Rosicky as the best option. As this position is still open to question at United, will cede the argument in Arsenal’s favour, even though the jury is still out on the Czech star who as the Gooner says is not even sure of a place in the Arsenal first team.
Winner: Rosicky
Centre Midfield
The writer is persuasive about the claims of Gilberto but clearly should be addressing the comments to one Arsene Wenger, who currently prefers the workhorse Flamini. With Carrick hardly setting the world alight and Hargreaves yet to get a run in the team, we’ll concede the midfield debate in favour of the Brazilian.
Winner: Gilberto
Centre midfield
Cesc or the Ginger genius? It’s close because the former is acclaimed as a copy of the latter. We can’t look past the Scholes master though because he can put medals and caps on the table.
Winner: Scholes
Right Midfield
C-Ron. No debate needed. As the writer said with breath-taking fairness: “I hate to say it but I would pay good money to go and watch Ronaldo play, the best right midfielder in the world.” Nice one.
Winner: Ronaldo
Forward
Rooney or Van Persie. Both are fabulous players but RVP has yet to have the impact of Wazza. He hasn’t scored the goals Wazza has scored and he doesn’t have the range that Wazza possesses.
The Arsenal writer trots out the old meejah favourite about Rooney’s failure to improve. “He is still a great talent but he has not developed as we all thought he would.”
This canard has to be nailed once and for all. Rooney displayed genius at 17 years of age. He was terrifying Europe when still a teenager. He’s just 21 now and is becoming a better player all the time under Sir Alex’s tutelage. On what basis has he declined? He scores fewer goals for England perhaps and he’s less prolific at European level? True enough but England shrivels even the brightest talents. I’m sorry to say that thus far, Rooney has not been helped by United’s European tactics either.
It’s easy to criticise Rooney but tell me, who is better in Europe in his position? RVP? Dont make me laugh. If both players were sold, one Rooney would buy you two Robins.
Winner: Rooney
Foward
Adebayor against Saha. Adebayor has it all to do but looks clever enough to get there in the end. Hard to pin down and surprising able for a such a big man, Adebayor is redefining the role of tall attacking lynchpin in a manner that defies Peter Crouch. Saha would be a marvellous player if he could stay fit. as he can’t, Adebayor shades it.
Winner: Adebayor.
So, to conclude, the combined team would feature three Gunners and eight United stars. Who could seriously argue otherwise.
Yours
ISpy
Who Would Fergie Buy With £100m?
It’s become something of an urban legend but nevertheless a staggering public relations coup for Arsene Wenger, who says he would turn down the offer of £100 million to buy new players.
→ continue reading
Report: What’s The Big Deal About Arsenal?
Sir Alex has tipped Arsenal to make a strong challenge for United’s title this season.
→ continue reading
Don’t Be Too Hard On The Youth
Redville
Latest news in and United have once again been plunged deep into crisis on the back of a devastating defeat in the omnipotent Carling Cup whilst fielding a team who, between them, had less starts than the average Skoda.
→ continue reading
Feel Sorry For Chelsea? Fat Chance!
Redville
It’s seems like the most ridiculous statement to make about a team that has personified haughtiness over the last few years, but even this staunch red felt a little sorry for Chelsea at the weekend.
→ continue reading
Who Will Be United’s Go-To Forward?
Victories without elan. Wins without panache. United less United and more Chelsea - grinding and verging on the dull.
→ continue reading
Has Fergie Mucked Up United’s Attack?
If it aint broke, dont fix it!
→ continue reading
