Hargreaves; Brazil’s Dunga and the Scottish player …
Hello OH
Congratulations on becoming the first player to join United this summer. Rarely can a desire to play for the club have been so public, nor such ambition have waited so long to be fulfilled.
One newspaper tried to tell us that Chelsea were ready to move for you and were threatening to gazump United, so it’s good to know that in the age of the mercenary footballer, you’re led by the heart and less by the wallet.
I cant deny that it was surprising to see Sir Alex so keen to buy you that he apparently ignored all others. There were cheaper midfielders around too, like the pocket dynamo Makoun at Lille and Rio Mavuba at Bordeaux. Even Nigel ’Mediocre’ Reo Coker at West Ham was ready to head up the motorway, if the manager had given a wink in his direction. But no. The man who said United was like a bus that waits for no man, failed to heed his own truth. Fergie is stuck on you. Worryingly, he’s already highlighted your versatility. Let’s hope that you won’t become a £17m right fullback!
But at least you are in good company. Ruud van Nistelrooy was the last player for whom Fergie waited and what a signing he proved. It has got to be a terrific endorsement and a compliment to you, which you must be anxious to repay.
Your past three years are most definitely the stuff of fairy tales. You won’t need reminding that you’re name was mud among a vast section of England fans and you were hardly the toast of Bavaria either. Rumour has it that in the summer of 2004, Bayern were ready to offload you for a relatively modest fee of less than £10 million but there were no takers in England even at that price.
Showing real guts and determination, you kept turning up for England duty and braved a shower of shrill abuse from fans who later cheered you to the rafters following a couple of energetic World Cup performances. Now, when fit, you are a starter in the England team and soon you’ll be a key player for the reigning Premiership champions. Are the rights to this story still available or have they been snaffled by Speilberg already?
The real work starts now of course. You’ve spent much of the last year in plaster after breaking your leg. Worse, you came back into a Bayern team in death throes, one that choked so much, it failed to qualify for the Champions League next season. Promise me you are not another Hermann Hreidarsson, trailing bad form around wherever you go! United are top of the pile with a fan base that expects you to help the team retain the title and advance in Europe. After nearly a decade at FC Hollywood, at least you’ll be used to the expectation that your team should win a trophy every year.
No disrespect intended but you’ve got to be the least exciting £17 million ever spent by United on a midfielder. You aren’t famous for your passing and you have a goalscoring average almost as dismal as that recorded by Gary Neville.
Clearly, you’ve been bought to stop other teams playing. You are not the new Keane, nor are you an Ince, so how should we recognise you? Lets hope you are cast as a Dunga-like bludgeon to the Ronaldo, Anderson and Rooney rapiers?
Rumour has it that you’ll be doing the running and thank goodness, the tackling of Paul Scholes over the next few years and that Michael Carrick really does have nothing to fear from your arrival. I can’t say the same about Darren Fletcher though. It’s got to be curtains for the Scottish player this season or next. Does Everton - United’s reserve side - beckon?
That’s for the future. If you can prove that you are not injury-prone and bring steel to the United centre, then a legend is there for you to write.
All the best
